Reasons for my Good Mood

When I saw the promo for the new reality competition "The Glee Project" I swore I'd never watch it. If you missed the promo (which is actually the first week's group number), watch it here. I was so turned off by how terrible that song is.

However, due to circumstances beyond my control (sick day, ANTM marathon which led DIRECTLY into the first episode of The Glee Project) I watched the first two episodes. And let me tell you:

It was awesome.

The first hour was the auditions episode. Execs watched bajillions of youtube videos and then held open auditions in Chicago. This was narrowed down to the top-82 (??) contestants who all got one-on-one time with official Glee music producers and choreographers till 12 are selected. On to the second hour.

Here are the highlights:

Week 1: Darren Criss shows up, and that is pretty useless. There are slushie machines everywhere, which also prove to be useless. The first song challenge is "Signed, Sealed, Delivered." Sounds good. A winner is chosen. Doesn't matter who. Then everyone spent studio time recording pieces of Katy Perry's "Firework," and it is hard to listen to -

Come on. That song is so hard to sing. It's high, and big, if you're not a soprano belter, it's just not going to sound good. But yeah, encourage 12 amateur singers have a go at it. Yes, definitely sing in unison on the chorus. What? You can give them awkward group choreography? More of that please!

Somehow, they choose three contestants to be up for elimination, apparently based less on talent and more on attitude. Songs are chosen for them to sing in front of Glee's head writer as a "final audition."

They give the adorable Irish kid Damian the Rick Springfield song, "Jesse's Girl." He has never heard it before. The chorus lyrics are "I wish that I had Jesse's Girl," and he sings "I wish I was Jesse's girl." He is currently my favorite contestant.

Damien, my new Irish boyfriend.

Ellis, the 18-year-old who looks 13, is given "Hey Big Spender." She is good. Judges don't like it. Whatever.

Ellis. Self-declared "Most likely to always be a little kid."

The oldest contestant, 22-year-old Bryce, sings "Just The Way You Are," and wasn't bad but it wasn't good either. The song is clearly out of his range, and given only three hours to prepare, that is hardly his fault. But he was kind of annoying during the other challenges, being loud and giving direction to the execs directing him.

Damien. Talented, full of himself. But wouldn't you be?

My favorite part about this show - the reason I will probably watch more episodes - is the way they reveal who gets kicked off. The show is basically a big long audition, so a "call-back" list is posted and the bottom three contestants dramatically and individually walk up to the list and look for their name.

First to see the list is Damien, who jumps for joy - he's in. Next, the camera flips between Ellis and Bryce - who made it? Who's not on the call-back list? Ellis get's emotional - is it good or bad? WHO MADE THE CALL-BACK LIST??

The camera scrolls down the list - I don't know any of the contestants' names so this does me no good!

Behold, the brilliance of the "not called-back" list. It's a boy's name, so I know it's the annoying kid. The contestants share the good and bad news, people cry, episode ends.

When this happened, I couldn't stop laughing. As if it's not sad and humiliating enough to not get a call-back or the part you want, can you imagine how awful it would be to be the ONLY person on a literal "reject" list? Rude. When I don't get call-backs, it's nice to know that most people won't ever know I even auditioned, I can wallow privately. And I know this is television so everyone is seeing him get kicked off anyway, but still, there it is in writing: You are the worst.

This show doesn't have a lot going for it. The vocalists aren't strong enough to have the music pull Glee does. The dancing is even worse. There are some real talents, and some really unlikable people, and they all get to work with amazing producers producers and choreographers. The show will run it's course, someone will win, and many someones will find themselves alone on a nationally televised reject list. And if I keep getting sick on Sunday nights, I'll be there every step of the way.